A loose dress.
Grass beneath.
A crisp wind.
With her Fonologium on her lap and her eyes closed, Carmen took a deep breath and retreated into her mind.
Carmen Carmine has always been an anxious kid, but especially so growing up.
When this was reaching unmanageable extremes, that’s when Rudy, Station 35’s Agricultural Manager, taught her what she was doing right now.
To create a mind palace, to retreat into this mental construct and have easier access to the parts of her mind usually drowned by noise.
It was in this construct that she found her current identity, that she first heard the screaming echoes of the Carmen she would eventually become. It also made her memory shockingly good in the process.
But today she wasn’t retreating here to regroup herself, recall something, or to calm herself. She was trying to find… something.
…
In this corner she holds all her love and memories of headmaster Clint. Something akin to a kid’s room that gets covered with new stuff as things change, but the initial child-like elements lurk underneath in the lower strata.
…
This is the area where her infatuation for Lucretia was and now it was growing into a whole room. If she walks by it she can almost smell her shampoo and her perfume.
…
This is the core that she taps into when she sings, a smooth orb that looks cool to the touch but is actually like a white-hot piece of coal that burns anything it touches…
…
…but the thing she was looking for was nowhere to be found. She kept hoping it had a more tangible shape inside her mind, but no luck.
That’s when she felt the wind, not the physical wind though, a wind inside her mind, a warm and dry wind.
She faced towards the wind, taking one step, two steps, by the third step she was no longer in her mind palace.
What was once a familiar non-euclidean home of sensation and memory became a very visual wasteland.
The wind was hot and dry but it didn’t make Carmen sweat.
The soil was so compacted that it could’ve been concrete for all she knew.
There was nothing from horizon to horizon.
Nothing except red desolation.
And the scary part was that… Carmen was enjoying it.
No noise, no humidity, nothing to disturb the perfectly flat soil she was standing in, nothing to get in the way of her and the horizon, no clouds in the way of her and the sky, of her and the white sun.
The beautiful, majestic white sun shining for her and her alone.
So clean, so simple, so beautiful, so perfect…
Compared to it, the belt was so messy and filthy…
If only she could bring this perfection back with-
“*Gasp*”
Carmen dug her nails into her arm and she was back into her body, back to having her eyes closed; all with a sudden inhalation and her heart racing like she was waking up from a nightmare.
…
Another failure.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. Her goal was to assess how easy or hard it would be to find the trance she fell into a couple of days ago, when anger took the best of her and her lightning strikes were doing actual physical damage instead of just being a supernatural slap to human flesh.
The good news is that the four attempts she’s done so far confirmed that it wasn’t something easily achievable, the bad news is that the four attempts she’s done so far confirmed that it wasn’t something easily achievable.
It means the risk of her entering that trance by accident is low, but it also means she doesn’t know what triggered it.
Well, anger triggered it, but it’s not like she’s not been angry or in danger before… maybe tasting blood caused it? She also doesn’t have control over when the dry win in her mind blows, let alone how much preparation she has to go through to even look for it.
With a sigh of frustration Carmen opened her eyes slowly.
“Good morning, Princess~”
And as soon as she did, the sight of a naked Regina that made herself very comfortable right in front of her, greeted her.
Regina for one was surprised at how unflinching Carmen had been just now, but the truth was that Carmen’s natural reaction to be startled had been overwritten by her supernatural bafflement at what was in front of her right now.
“What are you doing?” Carmen finally asked.
“Watching you.”
“Let me rephrase that…” Carmen immediately interjected as if she expected this exact answer the moment words left her mouth “Why are you laying there watching me like that?”
“Well, because as soon as you started doing that transcendental meditation stuff your hair started pulsating red and the last time that happened was when you went berserk against Fatso or whatever his name was.”
“And you’re doing that while undressed, laying down, and with no weapons nearby?”
“I was intrigued, maybe concerned, but not suspicious nor threatened.” Regina explained while waving her hand in a dismissive motion.
This answer derailed Carmen’s mind for a moment. Matter-of-fact as it was, there was something she always found disarming in the earnestness of Regina’s shows of trust and respect.
She quickly retraced in her mind what little had been said so far to remember where the conversation was. In doing so she groaned internally at how she had been just swayed when Regina didn’t even answer why she was doing all of that naked to begin with.
“Why is she like that…” She thought for the briefest of moments.
It’s not even like Regina was flirting with anyone or being a pervert, she was so matter of fact about it didn’t even feel like she was exposing herself. Even in this front, Regina found a way to make her actions everyone else’s problem.
Putting effort into focusing properly, Carmen finally mumbled…
“Wait… what’s this about my hair?”
“It turns red in waves, from root to tip. It’s a very shiny red too, like blood.”
This last comment came from Ana, the former Princess of Meriem stuck inside the Original Sin.
Two days ago, after she requested it, Carmen has spent every waking hour near The Original Sin in order to be able to hear Ana’s voice better. In fact, she’s been meditating while resting her back against the relic. This has actually made meditation harder than usual because Carmen tried to not think about how resting her back against it feels exactly like sitting back to back with another person.
It has worked so far, however, as aside from the odd interruption, Carmen can listen to Ana’s full sentences.
“Turning red…” Carmen mumbled while examining a few locks of her smooth silver hair “I’ve heard that my eyes glow red but never heard of my hair.”
“I take it Her Royal Edge explained how the red glow looks?” Regina asked.
“You really can’t hear her?” Carmen asked after confirming with a nod.
“Not only I can’t, but to me the Original Sin looks just like an object” Regina shrugged “It’s fine though, just let me know whenever there’s anything I must know.”
“I’m surprised you’ve believed that so easily…”
“Even if we don’t take into account the fact that a lot of my doctorate came thanks to analyzing how the relic itself worked before the Meriem tragedy…” Regina started saying while sitting back up “…a telepathic relic ranks very low in the scale of oddities I’ve seen in this trip so far.”
Carmen’s brain was starting to gloss over the specifics of what Carmen said in her bouts of verbiage, but she agreed that compared to Emerith and Blodia themselves blessing them on their quest, it wasn’t such a hard thing to believe.
“Talking to you is great, but I’d be lying if I said not talking directly to Regina feels like a wasted opportunity sometimes…”
Carmen was tempted to say something snarky debunking the idea, but she had to admit that even if Regina was a lot, she was very interesting, especially when she decided to speak straight.
“Well, thank you for the show! I’ll go back to running maintenance on the auto.”
Saying this Regina dusted her bare skin and went in the direction of their vehicle.
It’s been two days since their stop at Forlorn Wheel, and it’s one more day until their next stop. They found a river on the way, however, and decided to stop and rest here for the day.
They took the chance to do laundry on the river since, as Regina explained, there’s no guarantee their next stop will have proper accommodations, let alone a laundry room.
Enio is the one that’s been diligently washing everyone’s clothes, Carmen offered her help but Enio insisted on doing it alone, with Ana pointing out that to help Enio would be “taking away their fun”.
This is why Carmen has been meditating in her loose pajamas, and why Regina has been doing mechanic work bare naked. Enio is wearing the baggy shorts and oversized shirt Carmen saw them in during their Station 51 stay, but to her surprise Enio’s suit is the only thing not being washed.
Regina said something about it being because it’s an “Armor Suit” like that alone is the most self-evident explanation, and Ana said Enio would have a better time explaining the matter than her, so Carmen decided to kill time investigating her own mind instead.
Whooooosh…
“The breeze sure is nice…” Carmen added after a deep breath and taking in her peaceful surroundings.
“Can I tell you something?” Ana asked in a tone that reminded Carmen of a fluffgrazer for some reason
“Of course.”
“I miss feeling the wind in my hair…”
Carmen was taken aback for a moment by this show of vulnerability, but knowing how that feels she decided to add something rather than letting the silence hang and make Ana regret letting that slip through.
“I get that” she finally replied with a chuckle “As a kid I had really short hair, and when I finally let it grow it was magical to feel the wind push on my hair, it was like the sensation extended in ways I didn’t think possible…”
Ana was quiet, but instead of an awkward silence Carmen could sense her being at a loss for words.
“Can you feel things?” Carmen said breaking the silence “Physically I mean, physical sensation.”
“Yes and no?” Ana finally replied, her voice having an edge of joy in it despite the topic “I’m aware of things happening, but I don’t feel them. Like for example, I’m aware of the parts you’re leaning against but I don’t feel it.”
“Is it like touching scar tissue?”
“No, no…” Ana interjected “Scar tissue is like… you feel the touch but cannot pinpoint where the touch is specifically, for me it’s pure information.”
“Huh…”
“Enio was always reluctant to swing me against things to defend themselves, but I was always telling them I’ll be fine. If something was chipped off me I’d be aware that a small bit chipped off, but it’s not like I’d be in pain.”
“Say…” Carmen started “Do you have a core or something like that? If that was split in two, would you be divided into two bodies?”
“Miss Carmen Carmine.” Ana said in a very formal and strict tone with a clear playfulness to itself “My current circumstances are confusing enough as they are, let’s not add to it by also adding the Pharendoon Paradox while at it.”
With a good-natured laugh, Carmen conceded the point and moved onto another topic.
Pharendoon The Indivisible was one of the Primecestors back when Mothership Valvion still soared through the void. A man commanding the loyalty of his men, each of which offered one of their organs as combat or sickness afflicted their beloved leader. While traditionally the moral of the story was that Pharendoon was so strong of personality that you could replace his brain and he’d still be himself, the “Pharendoon Paradox” became a philosophical exercise of how much you can replace the components of something before it stops being its original self.
It’s not something the layman of the belt tends to think about or even be aware of as a concept, so a part of Carmen was excited to be talking with someone that brought up that kind of reference so casually. And needless to say that Ana felt the same when she realized Carmen didn’t even blink when the comment was made.
After all, Regina could make such a comment and understand it, but getting a normal conversation out of her was a trickier affair.
“Armor Suits are just a general thing, that’s what you call most protective gear that’s more than a single piece. So kneeguards aren’t Armor Suits, but contamination protectors are.”
The next day started earlier than expected as it started raining and they decided to continue on their way early in the morning.
Carmen prodded Enio about the topic of Armor Suits, but after meekly admitting they’re not good with words, Regina took over the explanation.
“Now, correct me if I’m wrong, Enio. Meriemite Armor Suits are basically just overtuned Power-pattern suits, right?”
Enio chuckled slightly at this comparison which was as good a confirmation as one could get.
“Um…” Carmen started from the back of the auto.
“‘Power-pattern’ is the name of Armor Suits built to enhance physical activities, rather than protecting the user.” Regina offered as an explanation “The way they work depends on the manufacturer but usually they assist the wearer the same way.”
“Wait… is that why construction workers wear hooded vests?” Carmen asked.
“No, that’s protective gear.” Regina replied “If you’ve ever seen the workers with the jackets of really thick fabric, it’s those.”
“I have…” Carmen replied half lost in thought “Why is Enio’s Suit ‘overtuned’, though?”
“Most Armor Suits are tuned to their function and customers” Regina added while wiping the condensation in the windshield “For example, warehouse workers could make their suits exert more strength, but they’d need to adjust their movements accordingly. Lifting something that’s 10 times your weight is within factory possibility of even the cheapest Lifting Jacket, but if you don’t match the moves properly, your arms will be pulverized by not being in perfect sync. So a lot of their circuitry and bulk goes into safeties to prevent this and to adjust movement range proportional to load requested.”
Carmen winced at the mental image of “pulverized” limbs. Then Regina pointed at Enio before continuing.
“As you know, Meriem knights are trained in economical movements so they’re very precise. This allows them to wear Armor Suits that economize the user interface safeties, which also makes the fabric thinner.”
“It likewise leaves space for functions like an automatic re-knitting and constant disinfection.” Enio then paused for a moment, clearly having more to add but finishing with “Among other functions…”
“That’s how it can remain so pristine, right?” Carmen asked.
“It also saved my life a few times…” Enio added “The disinfectant and re-knitting make it so any wounds are sterilized and easily bandaged…”
Enio then scratched near their heart in a gesture only visible to Regina at the front of the Auto.
“Aren’t you worried someone might steal it?” Carmen wondered out loud.
“I’m never too far away from it…” Enio said rubbing the insignia on their arm “When I’m not wearing it, it just clamps flatly like a Suit-shaped steel board.”
“Besides…” Regina interjected “Even if it wasn’t, anyone that didn’t have the lifetime of training or a Meriem knight would become a pile of mush the moment they put it on.”
Carmen stole a glance at Ana.
“Knights didn’t have any barrier of entry, the only barrier was making it to the end in one piece…”
“Planets above…” Carmen sighed.
The rain built into a storm right as they made it to Service Outpost TD12.
This is when everyone learned that apparently the Auto they’ve been using was a prototype being stress-tested by Regina as a favor to a friend.
Its codename is Asgard Type-12. The test isn’t related to anything volatile but rather the stress-testing of elements like the suspension and performance in rough terrain.
“Mind you, when I say ‘favor’ it’s not the kind done out of the kindness of my heart.”
“You’ll-”
“I’ll cash it in with generous interest accrued, yes.” Regina interrupted Carmen.
“Even when it’s something you… something we needed regardless?” Carmen retorted.
“That just makes the deal all the shrewder!”
They waited in a hangar while an engineer ran the diagnostics on the vehicle. A device with some cables was protruding out of a port in the panel near the steering wheel as a nearby printer threw out graphs and timestamps.
Regina was informing the engineer about minutiae, Carmen was looking around the hangar at all the interesting devices and machinery everywhere, and a relaxed Enio was taking in the cold breeze and the sound of the rain near the door.
Everything was calm.
And that’s when trouble started.
It all happened so fast and out of nowhere.
First Carmen was looking around, and while scanning the area she noticed that Enio wasn’t near the hangar’s door.
No sooner had she begun processing this that she felt something abruptly dragging her.
She hasn’t even finished inhaling in order to let out a “Huh?” about Enio’s absence when she’s being pushed into the Auto.
By the time she’s gathered her bearings ever so slightly, Regina has backed up and started accelerating somewhere.
A knot is starting to form in her throat. Confusion, disorientation, fear, no small amount of indignation.
“Wha-” She tries to helplessly mumble before being interrupted with…
“Enio transformed.”
“Enio transformed.”
These words snapped her out of her confusion immediately.
She can see Regina is serious in a way she’s only seen her being when Emerith and Blodia talked with them in their first meeting.
She can see Ana’s sword body glowing intensely under her wraps.
There was a “Why?!” that wanted to escape Carmen’s mouth, but she swallowed hard and tried to focus on the current circumstances.
They reached a clearing where it looked like someone violently uprooted the trees looking for something.
Regina pushed the brakes suddenly.
“Princess, whatever you did when you broke my fight with Enio before, we’re gonna need it now.”
She then grabbed her jacket and went on to meet with a berserk Enio.
Carmen was heading out into the rain when she heard.
“Don’t leave me behind!!”
And with that, pulled Ana with her.
Outside, she saw Regina already distracting a transformed Enio.
The same maw-like helmet, the same slouched armored body with long arms and big claws.
The same scary contrast from the usually gentle and quiet Enio.
Regina was using every trick in her arsenal short of transforming herself to buy some time.
Pulling a shockwave bomb like the one she used at Forlorn Wheel and then using the space gained to load a flash bullet onto her single-chamber gun, letting Enio claw a ditch they then fell into to gain precious centimeters between her and the rampaging beast…
There was little time to think, Carmen held her Fonologium on her hands, saw Enio and Regina’s scuffle through the crystal-like part…
…and froze.
Memories of losing control at Forlorn Wheel came back to her. What if she hurt both of them? What if she killed them in the process?
In fact, why was she so reckless doing that the first time around? They could’ve died that day too!
She saw Regina stealing glances her way, waiting for her to take action, but Carmen’s voice wouldn’t come out. She just wanted to sob, to cry.
This is all so confusing, it’s so cold, she’s all wet. She wants to help her new friends but is afraid she’ll hurt them. She’s kicking herself about the chance she could’ve hurt them badly the first time around.
In that moment as her memories kept coming back to the Station 51 incident, however, something was on the tip of her tongue. A bit of information demanding to be heeded.
She remembered Regina, food, vibration…
Vibration…
Vibration…
Vibration?
Vibration, emission, dampening…
Then, like lightning, she remembered her own words.
“Then you don’t need to hit the rock, do you? Just hit the sword with something like it’s the belt’s clumsiest guitar.”
…
“ENIO!!!” Carmen shouted while planting Ana vertically on the ground.
A horrified Regina saw Enio instantly disengage and start rushing like an Auto towards Carmen, slowed only barely by the mud, soft soil, and the rubble thrown around in their rampage.
However, by the time Regina was pulling her hair back getting ready to transform, Enio was already within range of Carmen.
That’s when something rang loudly over the storm.
CLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGrk
Carmen hit the Original Sin with her Fonologium as hard as she was able to.
This sound made Regina cringe, but completely froze Enio in some sort of pain. Then, in a single swift motion, Carmen lifted the Original Sin and slammed it on its flat side over Enio’s head.
CLIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
Though it bounced back from Enio’s head, Enio stood frozen in place for a few moments…
Then, as the transformation undid itself, they got covered in purple dust that turned into purple goop in the rain.
Then Enio fell unconscious to the ground.
Then Carmen fell backwards from swinging The Original Sin like that.
Then Regina fell on her knees in relief.
It was all over for now.
“Sorry…”
Carmen explained to Regina how she felt in the moment and why she did what she did.
She meekly turned towards Regina not knowing what to expect… and out of all the possible reactions, she certainly didn’t expect to see Regina smiling ear to ear to ear.
“Sorry for what?” Regina said “The way I see it you had perfectly understandable fears in a moment of extremely high pressure and panic, and you still found an alternative that worked in a matter of seconds.”
Seconds…
Carmen had that word echoing in her head. It felt like an eternity but thinking about it, between Enio running away and her smashing Ana on their head, at most around five minutes passed.
“I’m the one that should be sorry for dragging you suddenly like I did, if anything.” Regina added.
With a shaky exhalation and wiping off a few tears, Carmen took a moment to take stock of her surroundings.
It was night now, they were on the outskirts of the Outpost they had been in earlier in the day. Away from the clearing a rampaging Enio produced in order to find somewhere marginally drier.
While Regina being in states of extreme undress was nothing new, Carmen being in the same situation was; and her modesty was hitting her even in the middle of nowhere like this.
Their clothes and other soaked items were drying near a campfire. Enio was near them, still unconscious and tied with their hands on their back.
“I’m the only one yet to be tied like that…” Carmen observed in an attempt at humor.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, ever.” Regina replied.
Ana didn’t really get any scratches, but she’d been dead quiet in her concern for Enio.
The biggest damage was actually to Carmen’s Fonologium.
The clear, crystalline knot at its top chipped and had a crack. It was a clean crack, Carmen could still see very clearly through it, but it was evident there was a very thin line going through it.
“Sorry also for the damage to your heirloom.” Regina added in a rare apologetic tone.
“This isn’t an heirloom.” Carmen said in a suddenly cold but casual tone.
She then reached towards one of her drying shorts’ pockets and pulled a bolt made out of a greenish metal.
“What’s that?” Regina asked.
“According to headmaster Clint, this is one of the bolts from Mothership Valvion.” she held it tightly in her hand “He told me his great great great great great grandpa got it as a kid and kept it for luck. It was then passed to each subsequent son as they came of age.”
Carmen held it to her chest.
“When I was a baby I was obsessed with it, apparently. I’ve had it since I can remember things. To me it’s the embodiment of headmaster Clint’s love, he loved me so much from day one that he let a baby be near a precious relic and said baby saw it as a treasure.”
There was a brief moment of silence.
“This is an heirloom.” Carmen gingerly put the bolt back into the same pocket and then held the Fonologium “This is just a very useful toy. It’s fun to have but if it cracks and breaks for a greater purpose I won’t shed any tears.”
“If you don’t mind an odd question… why don’t you call the Headmaster ‘dad’ or something like that instead?”
“My father and mother didn’t want me and abandoned me. Headmaster Clint took me in and has loved me like his own daughter.” Carmen shrugged “If a father is someone that abandons you like that I’d rather not insult the headmaster with the title.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Regina admitted amused
“Conversely, mother and father dearest were the ones that apparently left me this thing.” She indicated while lifting the Fonologium “I don’t know if they just felt guilty or obligated, but if it wasn’t so useful I would’ve turned it into firewood long before my first trip to Station 51.”
Regina felt unable to put up any of her usual antics with this topic. After all, her own parents didn’t gain any favor from her before they died.
Silence held in the air for a few moments as both of them took in the heat of the fire when Enio rustled.
Then, like a feral beast whose tranquilizer just ran out, Enio effortlessly ripped the bindings on their arms and stood up.
“PRINCESS!!”
Enio’s voice was clear and loud when they exclaimed this.
“Enio!!!” Carmen was the one that reacted faster than the rest, her voice cracking as she shouted.
“Prin-…” The hysteria slowly vanished from Enio’s eyes as they realized their surroundings “…eh?”
It was night, it wasn’t the outpost Enio last remembered, the rain had stopped, there was a campfire, and their companions were naked and letting clothes dry.
Both were looking at them with stern-yet-deeply-concerned eyes. They could also sense Ana’s concern just glaring a hole through their chest.
Overwhelmed by confusion and the thing that drove them to hysteria to begin with, Enio sat on the floor.
“Prin… the… the prin…” Enio mumbled shakily.
“Enio, please, what’s wrong?” Carmen asked on the verge of tears.
“The… the princess’… body…”
“Eh?”
Enio then turned to their companions with dreadful clarity as the thoughts finally strung themselves into coherent words.
“I saw someone walking in Princess Ana’s real body…”
Forsaken Gaia – Chapter 11: Tearing In The Rain
Written by: Fernando Damas (@ironiclark)